WEDDING INTERVIEW!

 

Besides my favourite photos I’m now going to publish bride’s and couple’s interviews here about their feelings and experiences regarding their wedding. Lots of exciting and personal stories, first hand opinions and advices. Follow me on Facebook if you’d like to read all the updates.

First Aliz and Nitesh share their story whose beautiful wedding I photographed recently in Surrey. We discussed planning in details, the mystery of ugly wedding dresses in shop windows, favourite moments and best advices. And a few words about choosing the right photographer.

Tekla: It seems to me that grooms are rather under represented in the wedding industry. Why do you think that is?

Nitesh: I think for the groom a wedding day isn’t as big as an event as for the bride.

T: Is it because you had less to organise than Aliz?

N: Partly. We did enjoy planning, but I don’t think the day is as stressful for a guy, there isn’t that much pressure on a groom as on the bride. Waking up, showering, doing the hair just as you do when you’re going to work, you wear a suit like any other day generally, some black shoes and you’re out the door and you’re seeing everyone and it’s been an hour from getting up. Whereas for the bride it’s you wake up at 5am, do your hair for two hours, do your makeup for two hours, you put your dress on for an hour and a half, have a bite of an apple, and you’re 5 hours already in the day and haven’t even got out the door. So it is an enjoyable day but the pressure is more on the bride.

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Aliz: I didn’t feel the pressure. I was a bit nervous because of the makeup guy. He was late. There was something with the train and eventually Nitesh’s dad had to go and pick him up. I got nervous about you coming and finding me without makeup. The hair was all right, even if it wasn’t done, but the makeup… But he was quite quick after that so it was all fine. Seriously that was the only stress I had that day.

N: I think part of the stress in the planning comes from not knowing what you actually want. There’s a lot of choices out there. The other thing is you can plan and plan and plan, but still can have that fear what if the makeup artist turns up late, what if the flowers aren’t what they were meant to be, what if our guests can’t get to the venue, what if the food is horrible, what if the sun isn’t shining, there are always things outside of your control.

 

You can do all the planning but there is always the fear that something will go wrong on the day. If it does then who cares?

 
It’s not like you didn’t try the food before and on the day it just happened to be rubbish, or you spoke to the makeup guy the night before and then his train was cancelled – these sort of things. They just happen.

A: I think we were very laid back even when we were planning it. Because we decided to keep it simple that was the main reason that we didn’t stress. I’m the kind of person who leaves stuff (Nitesh: to the last minute) …not to the last minute but I don’t start preparing for something a year in advance. So we had six months really to do it. And it turned out perfectly fine.

N: I understand why people get crazy about weddings. Because they do plan well over a year in advance and then they spend a year going to venues every single weekend and food tastings every single weekend, and that’s why people do bring upon themselves the whole stress.

 

For future brides and grooms I think they just need to be as decisive as possible, put effort into it and explore options, but the more complicated you make it, the more stressful it becomes.

 
T: How did you find your dress? I admired your dress.

A: Oh that’s a funny one. I was abroad and there was literally a whole road full of wedding dress shops. My sister and I went into the shops one by one by one, and tried dresses on and shortlisted a few but I wasn’t amazed. We were doing this pretty much the whole day. At the end my sister suggested we checked out one last shop in the town centre. Oh you mean that awful one that has that horrible dress in the shopwindow? – I asked. Well, yes. So we went there and as we opened the door… Oh my god, those were the most beautiful dresses that I’ve seen! In the whole town! I asked the sales lady why they kept that rather unattractive one on display when they had such treasures inside? Turns out, because the sun is shining on it all day and that ruins the dresses, they don’t put a nice one there. Anyway, I found my wedding dress instantly in there and it was just perfect.

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T: How did you feel Nitesh when you first saw her in that dress?

N: I was very happy. I haven’t seen it before, she looked amazing. Yes you do get shocked. You think you’re going to see your wife in a white dress, but because you have no idea of what it’s gonna be like, that surprise is a nice surprise.

T: Did you have a favourite moment about the day?

N: I think when we finished the ceremony, and just before people threw the confetti, that was quite a nice moment – we were on top of those steps and you got everyone in a semi circle. That was a nice moment. And at the end when we were at those trees mocking about and doing fun photos that was quite fun. And then by the arch.

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A: I liked walking down the aisle, it was quite emotional, and I liked Nitesh’s speech!

N: Your speech was funny.

A: It wasn’t meant to be funny! I cried. (She laughs.)

N: Yes the speeches were good. I don’t think anything fell a-short of what we were expecting from the day. The best tips we were given was from a couple of our friends who got married recently and they said if there is one thing that you do take every now and then in the day a few minutes just you two, see how you’re doing, are you enjoying it, because the day is so focussed – even though it’s focussed on you two, there are other people, everyone wanting to talk to you. The whole us two enjoying it as a day together it’s easy to forget. So that was quite good, because a few times we would go away laughing and joking.

I think that’s quite important for people to remind themselves that it is about them two, and yes people have travelled from far, have taken their time out of their lives to come and celebrate with you but it is your day and take time for each other.

 
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T: As a final question I’m wondering how you have found and chosen me as your wedding photographer? I imagine you must have been looking through hundreds of photographers’ portfolios… How does one stand out from all the rest?

A: I think there were about 10 people that we liked and then we created a shortlist according to photo quality on the website, price, and the report we had with the person, the packages they offered. So there were 3 photographers left and we made the final decision after we had our meeting with you.

N: But it’s very difficult, like you said there’s thousands of photographers out there so how do you differentiate yourself? It’s about how slick did your website look, how slick do your products look, how do you come across when we speak on the phone, flexibility on the price is also important.

A: What I liked is that your portfolio looked versatile. There was one person we were recommended, and every single photo on the website that he had of couples, every single wedding was the same. And it was so lovey-dovey…. And then yours looked different. I remember a photo, there was a bride in the window of a building and she was on the phone, I loved that. And there was another one, you took a photo of a couple which was mirrored in a lake.

N: To be honest as a wedding couple you are at the mercy of the photographer, in terms of relying on their skill set. You aren’t there for hours and hours, you only have a limited amount of time to be able to take the shots and get them right. It’s a difficult thing. You do rely on the photographer to make that decision on that day about the best type of lens, camera, angle, to get that photo at that moment. A week later the photographer can’t phone up saying oh that photo is a bit rubbish, do you mind coming back tomorrow and do it again. You need to get it right on the day. And the photos on your website and albums made that come across.

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(The first and 3rd photos are by second photographer Kelsang Rinzing.)